Justin Robinson Author. Mammal.
What's Your Conspiracy?

 

IlluminatiThe Ancient Illuminated Seers of Bavaria

What is the purpose of power? If you said, “to get more power,”
then the Bavarian Illuminati are for you! This ancient secret
society is behind everything, from the moon landing, to New
Coke, to the creation of America!

 

The AssassinsThe Assassins

Cynical killers for hire or noble custodians of a free future? The Assassins are as mysterious as they are deadly. Only one thing is known for certain – at 4:20 they are busy.

 

 

Bigfoot

What do bears, Bigfoot, and the Pope all have in common? Yep, they all do a certain thing in the woods. I’m not implying some kind of grand conspiracy between the three of them... but there totally is.

 

 

Chupacabra

The name means “goat-sucker” in Spanish. Stop laughing. Seriously. Think of them like the inbred hillbilly aliens, but don’t underestimate them. Chupacabras are as dangerous as it gets, and don’t think that not being a goat will protect you.

 

 

AntichristThe First Reformed Church of the Antichrist

Are you evil? I mean really, really evil? Would you prove it by eating a kitten? If you answered yes to that, you have found the perfect organization for your corrupt soul.

 

The AnasThe Guardian Servitors of the Anorectic Praxis

Thin is in! Or so the worshipers of the fashionista neo-deity Anamadim would have you believe. If you ever want to eat pizza again, another group would probably behoove you.

 

 

The Holy Inquisition

The Inquisition gets a bad rap, what with all that torture, horror, and whatnot, but this is the 21st Century, and they hardly do that stuff anymore. Besides, when you’re fighting for the soul of every man, woman, and child on the planet is there such thing as going too far?



Knights of the Sacred Chao

Do you like dressing up in costumes? Do you ever think the folks at Burning Man should loosen up a little? Want to live the life of a Batman villain? The Knights of the Sacred Chao are for you! Kallisti!

 

 

TemplarThe Knights Templar

Their beef with the Assassins stretches back to the Crusades, but no one can agree on exactly what started it. To the Knights Templar, it is enough that the feud has become tradition, and if you’re a traditionalist, the Templar are for you! Or if you just really like beating the tar out of people with medieval weaponry.

 

The Little Green MenThe Little Green Men

The Martians are coming! The Martians are coming! Just kidding. They’re already here, and they’re not from Mars. They’re actually from Zeta Reticuli or possibly Iowa circa 4500 AD. Must enjoy UFO rides, probing, and the odd cow mutilation.



Mothman

Is he an alien? A mutant? A time-traveling lab experiment? No one knows for sure, but he sure is creepy. Maybe you could talk to him about that weird dog-eating peeping tom thing he has going on?

 

 

Order of the Morning Star

Lucifer isn’t such a bad guy when you get right down to it. He’s the kind of rebellious loner that America loves! If you’re a leather-clad badass who flouts the rules from the back of your Harley, yet secretly nurtures a heart of gold, this is the conspiracy for you.

 

 

Ordo Templi Orientis

Everyone who’s anyone was a member of this group! With that kind of storied history, you’d be following in the hallowed footsteps of some of the greats of the Information Underground. Magical power and a profound sense of history. Can’t beat that!



Rosicrusophists

Rosicrusophy is the science of unlocking the potential buried inside of you! Dr. Frank Wood dedicated his life to the betterment of all mankind. His research combined secrets of the ages with cutting edge techniques, and has been meticulously refined into the belief system utilized by so many of our brightest stars!

 

 

Shub-InternetThe Servants of Shub-Internet

They say God is all-knowing. You know what else is? The Internet. And it has developed a consciousness. An insane and terrifying consciousness. There’s not much else to do except for worship it in hopes that it doesn’t delete all your saved games.


Underground Kingdom of the Lizard People

A city of reptilian humanoids lives beneath the streets of Los Angeles. Who are they? What do they want? Your guess is as good as mine. If you want to find out, I’m not going to stop you.

 

V.E.N.U.S.V.E.N.U.S.

Most secret societies have history. These ladies have a pre-history. While they have a litany of beliefs, these days they generally focus on a healthy female body image.

Justin Robinson © 2017